3.05.2009

Invisible Diseases

Invisible diseases...that covers such a wide variety... an endless topic. To many healthy people they would view this as "fake" or hypochondriac. However, in all reality there are probably more invisible diseases out there in this world than any other type of diseases. We walk among the healthy,with smiles on our faces, a spring in our step and a bounce in our voices while all along trying to push past the aches and pains of our normal day to day lives.
I have too many diseases to name. At least it feels like that at times. I don't think any of my friends really know or understand what I really have or what is really wrong with me. They know that sometimes I can barely move due to aches and pain and sometimes I am so exhausted I literally cannot lift my head from the pillow, no matter what is going on. I would be willing to go as far as to say, that my home could be on fire and if I was that exhausted I would be unable to move.


So you want know what I have? Well, you ask merely out of curiosity but that is the only reason. Once I tell you, it will be out of sight out of mind. It will go in one ear and the other and it will be just as quickly forgotten. In a sense that is OK, in another sense it is not. Sometimes, I need or would like to have "support" of some sort from my friends and/family but usually it is just easier to smile and say that I am fine. :) I mean who wants to hear the "real" answer, that I am exhausted beyond the limit and am in so much pain I wonder why I can't be on morphine and still function. LOL OK.. I know I can't do that , but I hope you get my drift.

Drum roll please... I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Cluster Varietal Migraines, Essential Tremors, Restless Leg Syndrome, Sleep Apnea, TMJ, IBS,short term memory loss, confusion, Angina & most recently UCTD or MCTD and the beginning stages of MS. Now isn't that an impressive list? Oh wait, you say this isn't something I should be trying to impress anyone with? Yes, I know that, but I still have to have a sense of humor about this, otherwise, I will be NUTS on top of all of this too!!

I am still trying to figure out how this all fits into my life and why me and... and...however, God doesn't always let you in on all of these divine situations.
It is late... 2 am now and I need to get to bed.. as this also is not a good thing for someone with invisible diseases. They call them invisible b/c if someone is looking at you, you don't look sick, you look healthy for the most part. How ironic... I "look" healthy, yet I am "broken" or "damaged" and so badly I don't even know if anyone can fix me or if I can either for that matter. . .



I have so many doctors it is almost hard to keep them all straight. I think I have one for every specialty. Sometimes this is good.. but in my mind most of the time it is not good.

I have found some really good sites and hopefully these will come in handy to anyone that may need them as well.

http://www.webmd.com/

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/

http://www.chronicbabe.com/

http://www.lupus.org/newsite/index.html

I will keep you posted because although I have had most of my illnesses for close to 15 years, I have also just recently been diagnosed with the more difficult illnesses. So really this is just the beginning of my journey. . .

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