3.29.2009

Pain Free

Last night I was driving and I had a Sugarland CD and I was rather enjoying the tunes and all of a sudden.. it hit me. I had no pain. Did you hear me? NO PAIN! I can't tell you the last time it was that I had no pain. I can't remember that far back. So as I was driving, I couldn't believe my senses. I lowered the radio, and started to zone in to my feelings. I was really trying to feel all of my body parts, my arms, legs, feet, head, everything. Was this for real? Could this really be happening? If so for how long? Am I going to go into remission? Have my prayers be answered? My eyes filled with tears, these were tears of joy, anticipation, excitement and even anxiety.

Not much longer after I got to my destination and stepped out of the truck and just stood there. I was still unsure if this was real or not. You see it has been so long since I have had a remission that I was so unsure if this was going to be another one or if I was just "wishing or hoping" it to be. I stood there trying to "feel" every body part and realize if I was in pain or not. See after you have been in pain for so long, you tend to almost get so used to it, almost numb to it that when or if the pain does go away it takes a while for those messages to get to the brain and make sense. I know it makes almost no sense but that is how it is.

Well, I was pain free for almost 4 hours! I know it doesn't sound like much... I mean 4 hours out of 14 years, but I will take whatever I can get. It was a nice 4 hours of pain free time.. :) No doubt about that!! Sure I would have loved to be able to report that I am still pain free, but not at this time, not yet. I am hoping that sometime soon, I will be able to.

2 comments:

  1. ...when you finally realized you
    ...HAD NO PAIN..I'm certain it
    was a GREAT SENSATION..even if it
    was just a short while..it was
    happening!! Wonderful and soon
    there will be More times...

    ...wrote a comment on your first
    blog..kinda making comments about
    ALL of your BLOGGERS..

    ...looking forward to reading more of your "LIFE"...
    hopefully people can see and realize what your diseases are
    really like!!! wish I could fix
    it...it's been way toooo long..
    just hope you can have some re-
    lief some of the time!!! YOU NEED
    TO...after all the tests..meds..
    ..shots..infusions..acupuncture..
    massages..changing of meds..and so on and so on......but you keep
    mushing along with more of your
    witty..sarcasm..joking..smiling..
    great sense o' humor..personality...
    I and others' in your life really admire you for the way you handle everything and yes of course you can't be perfect all of the time..ha ha...don't know why tho!!

    ...keep smiling...be happy..
    LOTSA LOVE
    and
    MANY HUGS...for always

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  2. Tam,
    So great, I'm happy for you, and pray more pain free time is coming your way. I know what it means when you say,you get numb to the pain. I to, get to the point of putting the pain in the back of my mind, and try not to let it take over. Hard to do. Those few but so pleasant pain free times are a blessing.Hopefully someday they will last alot longer and be more of them.
    keep on, keepin' on kiddo.
    Love & hugs

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