Guess I am doing a diary of an entry for a blog this time, hell you never know what you will get from me. As far as family goes it is basically just me and mom. I mean don't get me wrong there are other relatives just no one that is logistically close by. So I am with mom and she is feeling pretty crappy (forgive the pun on the words). She was made to drink this Go Lightly so that she would empty out and be clear for her colonoscopy . They were finally able to do the procedure late this afternoon. It just so happens that a friend of ours, Marc who works at the hospital stopped by as they were taking her. He sat and we shot the shit for awhile. That was nice to have a distraction. He is so sweet and funny and is such a great storyteller! I told him I was going to write about him!! I told him about my blogs name - My mouth overloaded my ass he laughed at it and knew that it fit me rather well; you see we both are sarcastic and have the same sick type of humor!! His response to my comment is "insert foot chew thoroughly" - let me tell you, I love it!! Come on its funny right?? He has many stories and is filled with knowledge.
Before I go too far, I have to tell you about a conversation that occurred with a nurse shortly after we arrived at Kaiser. This was the nurse doing the intake.
Nurse: What level of pain can you tolerate?
(Me and Mom are both giving each other looks, like WTF??!!)
Me: I said What? Are you serious??
Nurse: Oh yes, What level of pain can you tolerate?
Me: I completely understood you, I just can't fucking believe you asked her that!
Mom: Ummm...I guess I can handle about an 8 or 9.
Me: Wait a minute, she is in the hospital and way sick and in a shitload of pain and you are asking her what freakin' level of pain she can tolerate? I have never in all of my life heard anyone ask that. I have heard nurses ask what level of pain are you at now? but never what you asked.
Nurse: Oh yeah. (Huge smile on her face)(I did everything in my power not to wipe that smile off of her face :) ) What level of pain are you at now?
Me: So when is she getting pain medicine? What is she getting? What is your pain tolerance?
Me: What is the level of pain you can tolerate?
Nurse: Ummm why?
Me: I was just curious because my bet is you can't tolerate the level of pain that my mom can, or the length of it. Am I right?
Nurse: (long pause)Yes you are right. I don't like pain.
Me: Good... remember that... no one likes pain and no one should have to be in pain, especially while in a hospital where there are tons of ways to alleviate pain. So let's make sure she is pain free while she is here. OK??
Nurse: I will do my best.
Me: Good... I am glad we agreed on this.
Shortly after the nurse returns with 4mg of morphine. She tells my mom that if she does not have relief within an hour to let her know and she will order dilantin (which is the pain med that was given to her at the first hospital. It is stronger than morphine and works fast!). Nurses normally do not tell a patient something like this, but she did. Mom said the morphine worked well enough. See mom is not one to complain or "rock the boat", not like me. I am her advocate. I don't always let my mouth overload my ass, see she is there and needs these people to care for her, and I am not there 24/7 so you have to way your battles and your wars and decide what and when you are going to say anything. Mom said it did reduce the pain significantly so I left it at that.
Her colonoscopy is done and she is back. She is able to eat - liquids only, but she is able to eat. She is pretty exhausted. I would love to know the results but no doctors have called or been in. I hate that. You see they will be in at the crack of dawn tomorrow when mom is still out of it and won't remember and at that time I don't function. I use to; in fact I still remember those days. Mornings are especially rough and tough for me and especially with the way I have been feeling lately... I just don't see me being anywhere at crack of dawn, ya know?? This is the time when I feel as if I am not taking as good as care of her as I should be or could be. Because of my illnesses that limit me it prohibits me from doing all that I want to do for her. It is at this time when people make the comments that seem to get me the most. I know for the most part they don't mean anything hurtful...but because I am so emotional, it hits me, especially hard. They call the house in the am and are surprised I am still there and not at the hospital with mom, or they say you let her get sick again huh?, or my all time favorite is, your sleeping? And it is either 8am or after midnight and when I answer yes, they are surprised and shocked. I know I actually sleep shame on me.
Rumor has it that she might be able to come home tomorrow. I know better not to get my hopes up, because anytime mom has ever gone into the hospital it always ends up a much longer visit then first anticipated (unfortunately). Everyone's prayers are helping, we both can feel the energy, thoughts and love. We appreciate it and are ever so thankful for all of them.
So it is coming up on 8pm and mom is snoring pretty good, although I know as soon as I am to leave she would wake! Murphy's Law!! I still need to drive home (30 min) and feed the animals, medicate them, spend time with them, check messages, emails, respond/reply, tidy up the house, let Tee-Tee out, get stuff ready for the next day, oh...I will need to eat something and get to bed too. I know it doesn't sound like a lot, apparently to most people but it takes me longer to do these things now (it sucks totally). I have decided to wait until the new nurse comes in and introduces herself and then I will leave...it is always hard to leave mom, no matter what hospital, or how sick or what type of illness. Hug your loved ones...and don't forget to tell them you love them. There is no time like the present.