Coughing up a loogy(totally have no idea on how to spell that one!!)

So this is when I should probably be writing in secret. However, I am not, nor am I going to pretend to be! This is when I say it how it is… So brace yourself. God help me… (However, I have decided to not use their names, only because a wonderful little girl is involved and I would never want to upset her.)

I have a male friend(who we will call) DB who has full custody of a wonderful little daughter (who we will call) S.  Basically the daughter doesn’t have a relationship with her mom for many reasons that I am not going to go into on here. I enjoy spending time with S and doing girlie things with her.  She is a very smart young girl. 

DB had brought her momma up for the week for her to spend some time with S. S loves every moment of this. I am thrilled to see S so happy and excited. However, DB mentioned that momma doesn’t really take care of herself and so he had to buy her shoes because she always wears combat boots and that would be too embarrassing to S while at the play.

So the play was tonight. I got to meet “momma”. As we were standing outside, I heard a loud coughing, like a hacking and then it happened. I was like oh no she didn’t, oh no she isn’t going to do it and then it happened. I was praying inside, oh please dear God no. I barely turned and I caught a glimpse, she was spitting up a wad of phlegm!! OMG! I couldn’t believe that! Right there outside of the school auditorium. I was mortified. I so wanted to go inside that auditorium and grab DB by the collar of his jacket and say “really you thought your daughter was going to be embarrassed by her momma’s combat boots and here she is coughing up wads of spit in front of your daughter’s school friends and family”??!! Oh btw – she wore the combat boots and not the shoes that DB bought for her. Love it!! After that I tried to gather myself and I told myself that I am sure it was just a 1 time happening. I mean right??? See I couldn’t imagine doing something like that… I don’t care if I had a wad of it in my throat; I would cough it up into a napkin or tissue but NOT SPIT IN PUBLIC!! My GOD what part of WOMAN does she not get???

OH NO!!! She did it 2 more freaking times!! I mean it wasn’t like it was just her out there alone (not like that would have been ok), it wasn’t just her and I (I mean I just met her tonight, and that still would not have been ok), there were many other people out there. But the last time she did this… she starts hitting her chest and says “Oh God, I knew I had to get that out sooner or later and laughs”. Of course I responded with later, much later would have been so much better (with a huge smile on my face). She replies to me, “You are so funny”.

The play was great. S did great in her play. I took lots of great pictures (none of the momma spitting). LOL
Funny how this is the most “blog worthy” to get written about first; Can you believe this?


  1. Is it wrong that I really wish you HAD gotten pictures of the mom spitting? Gross.

    Thanks for stopping by!

  2. oh, that's funny! i love how the tuberculosis infected woman thought you were kidding about the hawking up a loogie! some people just don't have a clue.

    i feel bad for the little girl. someday, someone is going to try to insult her and say, "yeah...well yo momma wears combat boots." and she will be like, "um, yeah, i know."

    tsk, tsk, tsk.

  3. OK, I have a horrendous cold right now and would love to hack up a loogy (wow, that is hard to spell!)... but I would NEVER EVER EVER do it in public. That's just disgusting!


  4. Ick ick ick!!! Wow - it is sure good that your friend has the custody and not "loogy momma"!