Ran out of steam

I had to do a few errands today. I was feeling “ok”. For some reason for the last few days my tremors have been pretty bad, especially my right side. It has been hard for me to write or hold almost anything. My writing and signature is practically non-existent. It seems that I after I do one or two things I am so darn week. What is up with that? Whatever it is, I DON’T like it.

I didn’t go nuts with doing my hair and make-up because I knew that would have drained me. I was ok but I knew I was running on reserves. I got ready and off I went. I needed to go to the Cat Dr. to pick up food for my cat, Chip, then to the pharmacy to pick up meds for mom and finally I wanted to run into pick up a few things at the grocery store. It was rather warm out today (100 degrees) so I knew that would affect me as well. Trust me I have a/c in my vehicle and I am NOT afraid to use it.

These places are all pretty close in distance. I could feel that with each stop I was getting weaker. At the pharmacy and the grocery store my shakes were so bad I felt like the cashiers were staring at me like I was a drugee that needed a fix. I hate that.

As I am in the grocery store, I haven’t even finished and I am really having a hard time. My shakes are increasing, I am getting hot, flushed, and weak and my body pain is starting to go through the roof. What is going on here? This shouldn’t be happening. I should be able to do all of this and more with no problem. Right? Right? (You are agreeing with me here, right???) I actually had to stop several times throughout the grocery store and take breaks to rest so that I could continue. I felt like the shopping trip took me all day. Granted it didn’t but I felt like I was there for a week. I swear I saw shift change while I was there. I checked out and had to ask for help. I knew there was just no way in HELL I was going to be able to push this cart to my car and then load it into my car. Isn’t that horrible? No you say, because I wasn’t feeling well or because I have an illness. I am still having a hard time with this. Thank God I don’t like far from the store.

I arrived home and now I needed to bring the groceries in. I don’t have a long driveway but when you don’t feel well it seems like a runway! I have a red wagon that I use to load up the groceries and take them to the door. Then I have to bring them up 5 stairs to get into the house. I had about a million 3 trips to get everything inside. I put all of the cold things away. I changed into something comfortable and I just had to rest. I lay down collapsed on the couch and literally could NOT MOVE. I was there for an hour and was wondering when I would be able to move.

I knew I had to move when Tee-Tee was staring at me like she was starving to death and if I didn’t feed her right then she might pass out, and Chip was meowing so loudly I am pretty sure you all heard him. So I proceeded to drag my ass off of the couch and fix them dinner and then us dinner as well.

So it hit me while I was in the grocery store that I am really going through a bad flare. I can’t even do a full grocery shopping trip without just about killing myself. I keep telling myself this is just temporary. I am hoping this temporary is going to be done with real soon.


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