5.21.2011

Shaking

Essential Tremors, Shakes, call them what you want, I have them and I hate them.
I can remember years ago when I was in grade school I had a friend and her father had the shakes. He was young and it was the first time I had come in contact with someone that had the shakes like that and was young. You know normally you would see someone in their 80’s or 90’s like that. Well, he certainly wasn’t. His family made fun of him and never tried to help him. It always bothered me. I can remember asking my friend what happened or what was wrong and she would laugh and say nothing he is always that way. It broke my heart. I can remember always feeling pity for him. I always felt sorry for him.
To this day when I see someone that has the shakes I still feel that same way, PITY. I feel so bad for them, I know most of them are much older and have lived full productive lives but still, having the shakes is difficult.

For several years now I have had the shakes. At first they kind of came and went. I could “hide” them. Then they seemed to start staying for longer periods of time. Now they are much more noticeable. Not only do they stay all of the time they are now very shaky. There is no way of hiding these shakes. In my mind I am not old. Yes, I am 39 (soon so soon to be 40) but like I mentioned before you never saw young people with shakes, not like this. Unless they were cold or nervous! I can’t tell you how many times someone has said to me “Oh honey it is nothing to be nervous about just take a deep breath and try and calm down.” Or “Oh my are you that cold?” Then I have to explain to them that I have shakes and blah blah blah…

Can you even imagine what it would be like to always be shaking? Try picking up a drink; now try it without spilling it. Try pouring something now without spilling it. Don’t even think about writing, or signing your name. You wanted to button that? Think again. There are many times that I want to do something but because of my shakes I am unable to. I have to put it off till later or another time in hopes that my shakes will simmer down just enough for me to do whatever it is that I wanted to do. I used to make homemade cards that have become almost impossible for me to do. The normal daily activities that we all do and take for granted are not so easily done when one shakes nonstop.

Sometimes typing is even next to impossible. When I first started this blog I thought this would be something that I could do on a semi-regular basis and keep things up… since the shaking has increased not so easily done if you know what I mean.
So here I am many years older from that grade school and I am now “cursed” with them. I always felt PITY for those that had the shakes because I could always imagine what it might be like to have them. I always felt sorry for those people. Funny how things turn out. Don’t you think?

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