1.30.2011

Past lives & Compassion

I am a big believer that we are all here on earth to learn lessons. I think that we stay as long as it takes us to learn what we are supposed to learn and as long as it takes us to teach others what we were supposed to teach them. Several years back I was fortunate enough to “stumble” across a book (Journey of Souls) by Dr. Michael Newton. The book is about how he came to be involved with doing past life regressions. At the back of the book it listed his contact information in case you were interested in being regressed. Let me tell you I couldn't wait to send him a letter.


I was in my mid 20’s and this book just woke me up like nothing before. I have always been interested in the spiritual world and what we might have been in other lives and how we went from life to life, so I couldn’t wait to contact him. I was fortunate enough to be able to meet with him and have a session. This was several years ago (around 1996) and at that time he lived in Grass Valley, CA. I don’t really remember how long the session was or how much the fee was. I do remember that it was taped and I do have the tapes. I can recall some of the session but when I listen to the tapes it just floods my being. This is simply an experience that I will never forget. I don’t know how anyone could forget something like that. I highly recommend that if at all possible everyone should experience that.

I can remember 2 of my previous lives. In one of them I was an extremely rich and beautiful woman. I basically had no flaws (interior/exterior) and I knew it and acted like it. I didn’t really treat anyone very nice. I guess I didn’t feel/think I had to. I was healthy and just gorgeous. My face and body …everyone was envious. I didn’t work and I traveled everywhere. I did not have any children. Although I “had” everything, inside I was not  really happy. My next life, I was an extremely obese man. I was by myself. My parents died when I was young and now I was ALL ALONE. No one liked me, everyone made fun of me. I had no friends. I got to be so big I was unable to work, so I basically stayed at home as much as possible. I would go out only when I had to, for doctor appointments and to the grocery store. I could no longer fit behind the wheel of a car so I had to take the bus or walk, both of which were extremely difficult and embarrassing for me. I ate myself to death basically. I was miserable. No doubt about that.

Now I am in this life. I have always said I picked my parents. In fact I can remember doing just that. I can picture it like it was yesterday. I know it might sound a bit strange but it is true. I picked my family because I knew they needed me. I knew that my mom was going to have health issues. I also knew that I would too, but not to this degree that is for sure.

So I was talking to my therapist a few weeks back about this and she asked me what I thought I had learned from my other lives I mentioned that I was now able to be a caregiver/caretaker and I loved doing it, as in my 1st life there is no way I would have done something like that. I would have paid someone, but there was no way I would have done something like that. I knew what it was like to be kind and compassionate, respectful of others. I know how to work and enjoy it. I have a better understanding of other’s feelings and always treat others the way I would like to be treated. I told her at least that is some of what I think I have learned and show it and hope to continue to learn and teach others more.


After discussing this for a short time, she brought something to my attention. Compassion. I do NOT have compassion for myself. I never really thought about it like that but I guess I don’t.  I have been told before that I am very hard on myself but I never really saw it like that. I have always tried to do the best at everything /anything that I do. I always want to do better and not make any mistakes. When I do make mistakes I am told that I am much too tough on myself. I was asked that if someone else made some of the mistakes that I make what /how would I react. I explained that if it is nothing major I would most likely try to make a joke out of it and let them know it is nothing to worry about /stress over and to move on. When in reality if I make that same mistake, I just about kill myself with negativity. I never really thought about it like that or even realized that I was doing that. Hell I have been doing that my entire life.

So now I have been challenged to learn to be compassionate towards myself! I don’t even know how to begin to do that. She tells me to start off reading mantras, or positive quotes. Even if I start out with 1 a week that is at least a start. Funny thing is I have read so many self-help books out there I know I all this and know most of the mantras. However, you have to believe them when you say them. You have to be able to at least start to believe them.

So I ask you, do you have compassion for yourself? I mean there is no doubt that I do for others but now that it has been brought to my attention, I am well aware that I don’t for myself. I think this is going to be one of the hardest things I am going to have to learn how to do. I only hope I can learn how to do it…eventually… Any hints or ideas on how you think I might be able to work on this??

1.26.2011

A nursing home for me?

So awhile back I came across an article about how more and more young people are ending up in nursing homes. With me having health issues and all it got the best of me. I read it and of course it really got me thinking. I mean how could it not right?
I am 39 yrs old and live with my mom who is also sick. Actually she is worse off than I am at least for now anyway. However, with all of the illnesses that I currently have and considering that for the last 2+ years they are not getting better or staying the same it tends to make me think about these things. I know she couldn’t take care of me, nor would I want her to. We don’t really have much for family. I do have a half sister who has offered to help care for us (I will write more about that in another post).

I have always been a very independent person. I LOVED working and taking care of my family (me and parents) and doing things. I have not been able to do that for some time now. I have visited nursing homes…some good some not so good. In fact downright scary. I was fortunate enough to be able to care for my Nana and father and neither of them had to go into a nursing home. However that may not be the case with me. I pray that isn’t the case but you just don’t know what the future holds.

But for those moments that I do let my mind drift to thoughts of a nursing home (Yikes!), I hope and pray for the following. I hope that if and when I do need to go to a nursing home I am fortunate to find one that is filled with not only skilled workers but loving ones as well. I hope that they treat everyone the way they would want their loved ones treated. Let it be a very clean, safe and affordable facility. I hope that they would have field trips, and movies, games (indoor/outdoor), and food other than pureed. Let it be possible to have it sectioned by age at least to a point anyway.

For now I think positive (or at least try to most of the time), continue to do research because you can’t always leave it up to the doctors to figure out what is going to work for everyone and keep mushing on. I can only that I won’t end up in a nursing home and you won’t either no matter what the age is.

1.24.2011

I am so flattered, thanks Dr. Wasserstein!!

In Sept 2009 I had Gum grafting done. I wrote a blog about my experience. Basically that is what my blog is my opinion and my experiences in this world. I originally was to have the procedure done by Dr. Jack Wasserstein but he did not live up to his end of the deal things did not go as planned, so I found another doctor that took great care of me. Now what I find so humorous about this is that the original blog I wrote is 9 paragraphs with several pictures and it only talks about him in one sentence. Yes that is right, 1 sentence. I guess this has really been bothering him. Granted that one sentence was a negative one but still it was one sentence. Anyway I guess he googled his name one day because he must not have much to do and came across my blog since it does list his name. So he sent me an email. Oh mind you this is an entire year (Aug 2010) later when he does this. He asks me to remove this from the web. I explain to him that this is my blog and it expresses my opinions and feelings. And anyway it is only 1 sentence. I googled his name, out of all of the pages that came up everything was positive except my one blog. Just think if I had done what I originally wanted to do and do an entire blog post just on the situation that happened with him and his office. Boy he really would have been pissed off. LOL But I refrained and only put the one sentence in. So anyway in Jan 2011, he decided to post a comment on that blog!! At first when I saw it all I could do was laugh. I mean really? And to think this is a grown professional man getting all upset over one little sentence. So he posted a comment and put “his side” of the story. I decided to leave it as is and not post a reply as to what really happened. Instead I thought I would just post a new blog and thank him for more sending more traffic to my site.


Thanks Jack!!

1.19.2011

Joke time - The Three Bears with a twist

A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of University of Minnesota.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a
bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle
as a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an IV drip in his arm, and both legs in casts. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he exclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle!
I went out and I FOUND a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED
him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent
the rest of the day praising Jesus."

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with monitors and IV's running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start..."

1.12.2011

Joke time - Only a farm kid

When you're from the country ~ your perception is a little different..

A Missouri farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor's, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is your Dad home?"
"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."
"Well, is your Mother here?"
"No sir, she went to town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."

The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself..

"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if  you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."

"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."'

The boy thought for a moment.
"You would have to talk to Dad about that.

I know he charges $500 for the  bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."


1.11.2011

Complainers. . .

You ever come across one of those people that complain about everything and everyone? Do you have a friend or family member like that? You know the type I am talking about no matter what it is they find something to complain about. It is just them. They complain about everything. The sky isn’t blue enough, it is too windy, it is too hot, not hot enough. They never ever seem to be happy. I never knew it was even possible to complain about half of the stuff they complain about and yet there always seems to be more to complain about because they find more and then find more! It still amazes me when I come across someone like that or run into “that person”. The complainer.


We have a friend of the family who is a complainer. I would actually call him the KING of Complainers. I don’t think I ever realized or understood the art of complaining until I met him. He complains about everything and then some. It still amazes me when I come across someone like that or run into “the person”. The complainer. It is too cold, too windy, too rainy, too hot, and too dry. If he is talking about work, then by all means he is never making enough money, they never appreciate him enough, and he always does more than he should. When he has been out of work he refuses to look for work out of his field of expertise (personal chef) because that would be lowering his standard. Ok…but if you haven’t worked in over 2 years and are no longer getting unemployment how the hell else are you going to support yourself? Because the last time I checked complaining does not pay the bills. A job basically fell into his lap. A friend needed a driver because he was without a driver’s license and he could not do his job unless he had a driver. How perfect. Right? He would have the complainer drive him and pay him under the table. They would be helping each other out. Not long into this great deal the complainer soon felt that he should get paid if he worked or not. Then he started that he could no longer drive at night. The whole thing was so that the other guy didn’t have to drive at all as his license was suspended. DUH!! I tell you, here he was being helped out and it still wasn’t good enough for him.
I talked to the complainer about this one time. He looked at me and smiled and said “you know, baby, people like me are just complainers, we aren’t happy unless we are complaining about something….well everything really.”(followed by a little laughter).

I don't know but through my eyes it sure does seem to take a hell of a lot more energy and time to complain about everything then to just go along or try to make the best out of it. Don't ya think?

1.02.2011

SNOWING!

I live in Southern California and they say it doesn't snow here.  Well, they lied!  I have lived in this neighborhood for 22 yrs and this is the 3rd time it has snowed.  This is the most it has snowed.  It snowed for several hours and stuck quite a bit, you know for not snowing that is!  It looked pretty, it was cold (42 degrees) and I was glad to be inside a nice warm house.  No, I did NOT go outside and make a snowman or snowballs.  I just enjoyed watching it fall.  Hope you get a kick out of my pics.

My backyard right after it started snowing

Down my street

My neighbors house/car


Our yard with much more snow.  Doesn't it look pretty??

Our neighbors house (my mom's bff)

Another pic of yard and hills behind

Our jasmine bush

A little palm in our front yard - that was when it first snowed, now they are covered, and truthfully I think pretty much dead.