Miss Tee-Tee

Today was a rather “rough” day to say the least. Tee-Tee our sweet little angel of a doggie was put to sleep late this afternoon.  It was probably the toughest decision we have ever made.  Here are some interesting facts or some history on her. 

~ She got her name, Tee-Tee because when we first got her she would get so excited, nervous, happy, worried, scared or whatever that she would tinkle (pee-pee) just a little bit wherever she was.  It didn’t matter what the occasion was or what the situation was she would tinkle. The poor thing just couldn’t help herself.  At the time my sister, Tina had young sons that she was potty training and she would ask them “Do ya have to go “tee-tee?” (Please note that this is said in a heavy southern drawl!).  So it was just OBVIOUS to us that TEE-TEE had to be her name.  It was so fitting for her, don’t ya’ll think?

~ We got her when she was about 2 yrs of age. She was not potty trained nor did she know how to play.  She was a smart cookie that is for sure.  She learned everything very quickly. She was potty trained very easily. She loved to play.  She would even bring the toy and put it right in your hand, or if you didn’t want it in your hand she would put it right in front of your foot.  Now how many dogs do that? She taught herself that little trick! She LOVED to play with her toys or balls. She would play constantly if we would let her. Her toys had to have squeakers in them, otherwise in her mind, they were broken! She enjoyed squeaking them herself!! 

~When we got her we already had Chip, our cat.  She knew that she had to get along with Chip in order to stay. He was the alpha male and she followed the his rules, just like a good little girl.
Chip &Tee-Tee
~She was so human like it was unbelievable.  I have never seen another animal as human as she was.  It amazes me.  She would always look you straight in the eyes. She always understood what you were saying, it didn’t matter on your tone or not.  She knew what you were saying. If she knew someone was upset, she would immediately go over to that person and get as close as she could to them and hug them.  She was a great hugger, a good loving doggie. She genuinely understood what was going on  and tried to do anything she could to help. I know that kind of sounds strange but it is true.

~She loved wearing necklaces and I mean necklaces not collars! When she was younger she liked dressing up but as she got older it was too difficult for her (arthritis & cysts). She loved bubble gum.  If she saw me chewing gum she was stuck to me until I would give her a teeny tiny piece and then she was satisfied!  If she didn’t want a type of food it was so obvious, and there was no way she was going to take it!

Tee-Tee wearing a scrunching - doesn't she look adorable?

Tee-Tee would get cold very easily and my cousins bib was perfect for her. Besides that I think he loved seeing her in it.(He was almost a year!)
~Towards the end when she became diabetic, I had to give her shots twice a day.  She also had severe arthritis as well.  So twice a day I would get her shot,  arthritis meds and “treats” ready.  In the morning it was kind of like a game.  She would go running to mom while I was in the living room calling her to come and have her “treats”. She would be in the other room with mom peaking around the corner as if I couldn’t see her.  It was so cute. Then she would finally come out to me, and act all surprised and get on the couch with me and she would cuddle up (hug me) next to me.  After a few minutes I would give her, her insulin shot, then she would love me some more and then I would give her, what we call her “treats” but are really pills.  She always just took them like they were candy.  I know, huh!  I always joked that she was my pill popping puppy!

 ~ And now, Tee-Tee was diabetic and it seemed to be getting worse. Her arthritis was getting worse as well. She has had what they were calling “fatty cysts” for quite some time, when in fact they were not.  The other day one of them burst.  Some of them were fatty cysts, but there were a few that were indeed, infected abscesses.  So unfortunately, she had been misdiagnosed by 3 different doctors.  I think that alone could have changed a lot of the way her illnesses turned out but I can’t put everything on that, if I do, I will be stuck on that forever.

~I wanted to share a bit about Tee-Tee with the world.  She was truly my father’s dog daughter. We used to joke and say it was his favorite daughter. She never talked back; she always did what he wanted, etc!!

May you all spend extra time with your 4 legged loved ones.  Make sure you give them plenty of hugs and kisses.


Wordless Wednesday ~ Piggy Style!



*Birthday cake for Mom.  Made by  Sarah @ Dolci 
She makes so many more things, all so pretty and all so very yummy in your tummy. Check her out!


It's too much to hope for...

It’s too much to hope for a life without pain,
It’s wrong to expect a life without pain;
For pain is our body’s defense.
No matter how much we dislike it,
And nobody likes pain,
Pain is important.
For pain we should be grateful!
How else would we know,
To move our hand from the fire?
Our finger from the blade?
Our foot from the thorn?
So pain is important.
And for pain we should be grateful!
There’s a type of pain that serves no purpose,
That’s chronic pain,
It’s the elite brand of pain that’s not for defense.
It’s an attacking force.
An attacker from within,
A destroyer of personal happiness,
An aggressive assailant on personal ability.
A ceaseless invader of personal peace.
A continuous harassment to life!
Chronic pain is the hardest hurdle for the mind to jump.
Sometimes it is almost impossible to jump,
Yet, we must keep trying.
And trying,
And trying.
Because if we don’t it will destroy.
From this battle will come some good,
The satisfaction of overcoming pain.
The achievement of happiness and peace, of life in spite of it.
This is quite an achievement.
An achievement very special, very personal.
A feeling of strength,
Of inner strength;
Which has to be experienced to be understood.
So, we all have to accept pain,
Even sometimes destructive pain.
For it is part of the scheme of things,
And the mind can manage it,
And the mind will become stronger for the practice.

- Johnathan Wilson-Fuller (age 9 at time of writing)



I started blogging in Mar 2009 and was so excited about starting and having a blog.  Woo-hoo!  I never thought I would go MIA for this long.  My last entry was on May 25th 2011.  That seems like forever ago.  Truthfully it all has to do with my illnesses and how well I am doing or not doing.  My well being or lack thereof truly determines if I am going to be able to make an entry or not.  And for the last couple of months my hands have been horrible.  My right hand is the worst.  Both my thumbs and my pointer finger on my right hand are at times almost unable to even use.  I am told it is related to my Lupus.  YUCK!  Guess, I have another scary issue I have to look in the eyes. Wonder if it is ok, if my eyes are closed?  Guess I gotta save up for that Dragon Dictation program.  I have it on my iPhone (it was a free app) and I LOVE it.  So we will see.

I miss blogging.  I have actually been dreaming that I was back to blogging! I know, huh, kind of sad, ya think?  I think! 

I am hoping this short entry will get me back on the road to happiness . . . blogging. 

See ya soon!!


Drugs, Drugs and more Drugs

I think I have tried just about every drug out there for RA (rheumatoid Arthritis), Lupus and UCTDIt sure the hell seems like it anyway.  They either don’t work or I am severely allergic to them. I thought it might be interesting to list all of the medications I have tried just in the last 3 years, or shall I say the ones I can remember.  I had a list with all of them but they were on my old computer and I need to get a new hard drive and blah, blah, blah, you know how that story goes. 
So here is the list:

·         Methotroxate
·         Cell Cept
·         Enbrel
·         Rituxan  IV
·         Remicade IV
·         Orencia IV
·         Imuran
·         Indomethacin
·         Azathioprine
·         Mobic
·         Meloxicam
·         Humira IV

So after having tried all of these my rheumatologist wanted me to take a break and see if something else would be coming out soon that I would be able to try. So after few months, he suggested Actemra IV.  Now normally if I am going to have bad reaction it will happen right there during the treatment.  This time it didn’t.  I felt fine, well you know exhausted but nothing major.  My aches and pains went up a bit and so did my exhaustion, but that is totally understandable considering you are having all of these drugs poured into your system.

Well by Sunday I couldn’t breathe. My entire bodice area was so sore I couldn’t handle anything touching it.  When I would breathe, if I took small breaths it wasn’t quite as painful as if I tried to take a full breath.  I kept thinking it would get better or go away. 

Monday I ended up seeing my PCP to see what was going on.  After her examining me she told me she wanted me to go to E.R. and have some blood work done and a CT scan.  She was worried about me having a PE (pulmonary embolism) or that my abdomen might have perforated.  She called ahead to E.R. so that they would know why I was there and what needed to be done.  Oh, the reason she sent me to E.R. was that by the time she was done seeing me it was after hours so basically nothing was open.

Note to self: that doesn’t mean a damn thing to them.  I waited over 3 hrs to get to see the triage and then another 2 hours just to get inside to have a chance to see the E.R. doctor.   I will tell you more about this later. 

So I have tried numerous medications in just about all forms.  I have had pills, IV’s, and have even had to give myself shots.  For the most part these drugs did not work.  If they did they did not last for long at giving me any relief.  So then we would try something new.  It does a get a bit discouraging and overwhelming and sometimes downright depressing once you realize all of the types of things you have tried to do, to get some relief.  And I am just talking about the main drug here, I could probably right several more posts on different types of treatments, herbs, supplements, eating, etc that I have tried as well.  When I ended up in the hospital I was wondering if this could be an allergic reaction to my latest drug that I had just tried…



Essential Tremors, Shakes, call them what you want, I have them and I hate them.
I can remember years ago when I was in grade school I had a friend and her father had the shakes. He was young and it was the first time I had come in contact with someone that had the shakes like that and was young. You know normally you would see someone in their 80’s or 90’s like that. Well, he certainly wasn’t. His family made fun of him and never tried to help him. It always bothered me. I can remember asking my friend what happened or what was wrong and she would laugh and say nothing he is always that way. It broke my heart. I can remember always feeling pity for him. I always felt sorry for him.
To this day when I see someone that has the shakes I still feel that same way, PITY. I feel so bad for them, I know most of them are much older and have lived full productive lives but still, having the shakes is difficult.

For several years now I have had the shakes. At first they kind of came and went. I could “hide” them. Then they seemed to start staying for longer periods of time. Now they are much more noticeable. Not only do they stay all of the time they are now very shaky. There is no way of hiding these shakes. In my mind I am not old. Yes, I am 39 (soon so soon to be 40) but like I mentioned before you never saw young people with shakes, not like this. Unless they were cold or nervous! I can’t tell you how many times someone has said to me “Oh honey it is nothing to be nervous about just take a deep breath and try and calm down.” Or “Oh my are you that cold?” Then I have to explain to them that I have shakes and blah blah blah…

Can you even imagine what it would be like to always be shaking? Try picking up a drink; now try it without spilling it. Try pouring something now without spilling it. Don’t even think about writing, or signing your name. You wanted to button that? Think again. There are many times that I want to do something but because of my shakes I am unable to. I have to put it off till later or another time in hopes that my shakes will simmer down just enough for me to do whatever it is that I wanted to do. I used to make homemade cards that have become almost impossible for me to do. The normal daily activities that we all do and take for granted are not so easily done when one shakes nonstop.

Sometimes typing is even next to impossible. When I first started this blog I thought this would be something that I could do on a semi-regular basis and keep things up… since the shaking has increased not so easily done if you know what I mean.
So here I am many years older from that grade school and I am now “cursed” with them. I always felt PITY for those that had the shakes because I could always imagine what it might be like to have them. I always felt sorry for those people. Funny how things turn out. Don’t you think?


Description of a Friend

Friends.......They love you,
But they're not your lover
They care for you,
But they're not from your family
They're ready to share your pain,
But they're not your blood relation.

They are........FRIENDS!!!!!

A True friend......
Scolds like a DAD..
Cares like a MOM..
Teases like a SISTER..
Irritates like a BROTHER..
And finally loves you more than a LOVER.

(A very dear friend of mine shared this with me.  I have never heard of a friend being described like this before, but I tell you that is exactly what she was to me. We were BFF's for many years and now have not seen each other in over 3 years.  I miss her, I miss our friendship. We have just recently gotten back in contact with one another and I can only hope that our friendship will grow once again.)