10.28.2009

They know me by name...


...and I L-O-V-E it!! I mean think about it. You go into your local restaurant and the servers or manager or owners there know you by your name and address you by your name. There is just something about it, that makes you feel at home, makes you feel just a bit more welcome, almost as if you are a part of the place. Don't you think? I don't have many places but there are a few places around town that I do go to (I guess you could say, frequent) and it is nice when they do see me and they smile and come over and greet me.
When I go into my local CVS pharmacy, the pharmacist, Sophie knows me. I know most people would be like, "You know a pharmacist by name?" Yup! The funny thing is, I don't even get all of my prescriptions there. Most of them are mail order, but the ones that aren't and the ones that you get because they are not ones that you are on regularly, I go to her. It is really nice. I go in there, there are about 3 clerks that have been there a few years and they also know me by name. I get up there and we talk, maybe about the weather, their schooling, work or whatever. It is nice. It is nice because on rare occasions if something is not right, I know that Sophie is looking out for me.
My bakery is the BOMB, S&S Donuts is another place that knows me. I have gone to them for 20 years. They have awesome donuts and yummier cakes!! I have ordered cakes from them for years for family gatherings and for work functions. I have also taken in donuts, bagels and muffins to work functions no matter how far my commute was. If I go there, and there is a line out the door, they will smile and wave me to the front to make sure I can get handled quickly so I can be out of there an on my way to work.
There are also a few restaurants that I go to that the owners/servers know me as well. It is nice to walk into a place and have them come out and great you with a smile and a hug and welcome you as if it was their home. They take good care of you. If I call and order something to be picked up, I have no doubt that it will be right and packed with care. Sometimes maybe even a little something extra.
There is just something about going somewhere and being addressed by your name that does something. Am I right? I know I can't be the only one that feels that way. Doesn't it make you feel important, special or something ? Hell, I know it does me and I know I can't be the only one feeling that way! LOL

10.22.2009

PIGS in commercials

So has anyone seen the talking pigs??? OMG I laugh my ass off every time I see this commercial. It just cracks me up. The funny thing is you don't even really know or remember what the hell the commercial is even advertising. But the actual commercial is great.


If I look good, I must be AOK, right?

So I had an appointment with my Rheumatologist on Thursday. I guess I must have looked good. When I say good, I don't mean anything out of the ordinary, I just mean I didn't look like death warmed over! This is the doctor that wanted to put me on disability and then wanted to put me on permanent disability. I freaked out at the thought of either of those ideas. However, in order to handle those thoughts I made my mind up that I am not going to be permanently disabled so eventually I will be able to go back to work. I am not sure when but I am planning on it.

OK...so like I said, I guess I looked good because when the doc saw me he said "So you ready to go back to work?" I know if I hadn't been sitting down, I know without a doubt I would have fallen over. Thinking back maybe that would have been a good idea, at least for his sake! So I sat there in disbelief thinking "am I hearing this right?", "OMG, I must be doing much better and I don't even know it!!", "God what an IDIOT I am!", "I am imagining this horrible pain??!". All of a sudden I could hear something and I realized I was still sitting in the room and he was talking to me. I gathered myself and said, umm, no..not really. He then asked me why I thought I wasn't able to go back to work. My usual work would be an accounting manager. Now I know most would say, oh well you just sit there. Those are people that don't know a, what type of work really consists in an accounting manager and b, they don't know what type of worker I am.

After I picked myself up off of the floor and gathered my thoughts I told him that I would love to go back to work. Remember, I was the one that didn't want to be on disability now, short term or permanent. I am glad that I look good right now, I guess, but unfortunately I see it is biting me in the ass. (Yes, I do talk to my doctors that way! I say what I think and feel.) I said, "You know as well as I do that I can't sit for long periods of time without being riddled in pain and having to get up and walk around and change positions. I get cramps throughout my body. I reminded him I could go on about the physical issues, but what I thought was the worst part of all, was the mental part. Had he forgotten? I guess it was easy for him to, he doesn't deal with it everyday like I do.

My memory is not like it used to be. I know everyone tells me it is age. I am only 37 years old. In my mind, that is NOT OLD!! If it is old in your mind, keep that thought to yourself! LOL I use to be able to remember anything and everything, and I do mean that. Now, I struggle to remember any short term items. I also have a problem with speech. I can't always find the right words when I need to speak. Sometimes it sounds like I am stuttering, but I am not, I am seriously searching for the right words. Usually I am unable to find them. It is horrible. Horrible, because I was one of those people that use to talk (alot, not so much that it was annoying) and was very quick with smart and jokey comebacks. Not so much anymore. I am so unsure of myself now. I get confused easily and overwhelmed too. I was never like that... NEVER. I hate it, I am still trying to get use to all of these changes. Still trying to figure out how and why they are now a part of me.

So in my mind, can I go back to work? Not right now. I ran a very stressful, upbeat, busy account payable department for the largest music publishing company in the world. I LOVED what I did. I love my career. I would love to do it again. I trained and traveled. I can't imagine speaking and not being able to find my words and then what? What am I suppose to do then? Because then even if someone finds the word and says it, for whatever reason, I still can't say it. I know it sounds weird, but it won't come out of my mouth.

My doctor tells me well don't you think that you could work, and then when you start to feel bad, you could take some vacation time, and then go back to work and then if needed take sick time and then work and then if needed take FMLA (Family, Medical, Leave Act). I was like "Seriously?". I thought he was trying to be funny, even though that is not his style. I explained to him that businesses do NOT run that way. I asked him if he would do that for his employees. He was speechless. Ha!! Just as I thought, can't put the shoe on your own foot, eh, doc???

Truth be known, I was pretty thrown back for awhile. I was a bit out of sorts. Then I spoke to someone who reminded me that doctors are not trained in psychology when they go to school. They also only see a small window of us from time to time. He happened to see a window of me that I looked good. (Lucky me) What she did remind me of, is that I have a tendency to put a good facade on for everyone. I never really thought about it, but I guess I do. I mean if you think about it, who wants to walk around with a frown and complaining about how crummy they feel? Well, I guess there are some people out there, but not me. I would rather have a smile on my face and say I am fine, then to tell the truth. Allbeit, there are a few that know truly how I feel, whether I have a smile on my face or not.


So for those of you out there, whether I am smiling or not, whether I say I am fine or not, just let it be known, that unfortunately I still have all of those awful "invisible diseases", they haven't disappeared...just yet!!!

10.13.2009

Gum Grafting ~ really not all that bad I swear!!

There I am sitting in the dentists chair when he looks into my mouth and says oh, um, hmmmm. Just the tone in his voice made me worry. Now, mind you I have known my dentist for close to 20 years so I know him pretty well and we do joke around. I knew this was NOT one of his joking hmmmms. He tells me I need to have a gum graft. He says it looks like it will be needed on the upper right area and lower bottom. He explains it to me slightly because he doesn't want to freak me out. Sorry!! Too late for that. I go home and immediately start scouring the web to find anything and everything I can on this. Anything and everything that I can find is totally horrifying. I mean that in the nicest of ways too. Ha ha It says that it feels as if you burned your mouth from taking a bite of pizza and the cheese was too hot. Ummm.. gee last time I remember that was not fun. I didn't enjoy that at all. Still trying to be calm.


I made the appointment. Well, truthfully I made the appt with one periodontist and he was a complete ass. His name is Dr. Jack Wasserstein. YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO HIM. Luckily I found another great doctor. His name is Dr. Moshe Benaroch. He is an excellent doctor. Great office staff and great doctor. No complaints at all.


The night before surgery I am suppose to take a pill. This is suppose to relax me. OK.. that is an understatement. I took the pill and after a few minutes I decide I am going to go to bed. I get up from the table and I just about fall over! I was so surprised. I didn't even think about the pill yet. I was like what is going on?? I started to walk towards my bedroom and I had to grab for the walls. I bet you didn't think walls were so important, but they are!! I was so glad they were there... I had to hold onto them so I could walk to my room!!! I made into the bathroom to go pee. I bed you never thought the toilet was low either, eh? You don't think about these things until something like this happens. I thought I was falling down...and I mean down. Thank GOD for walls! I caught myself.. or shall I say the toilet caught me. So my mom hears this and comes running in to see if I am ok. By the time she gets to me, she is out of breath, because as you know she wears oxygen and she had the shorter tubing on, and she took it off to get to me. So here she is, out a breath and wanting to see if I am ok and laughing, ok hysterically laughing at me. I asked her what was she going to do. She said she wanted to make sure that if I fell she was there. I said it is not like she could pick my fat ass up or anything. She said she would call someone!! NICE. So I compose myself and say that I am just fine. I tell her how she is not nice. I take care of her and help her and here I am in a situation and actually need help and all she can do is come and laugh her ass off at me. NICE!! However, what she doesn't know is I am thinking that thank goodness she doesn't think like me, because I so would have grabbed the camera already. LOL I made it into bed. However it was hard. I didn't realize how high my bed was. Damn, what was I thinking when I wanted a high bed?! I basically crawled into it. I was out like a light.


The next morning I had to take another one of the infamous pills. Needless to say I needed someone to drive me to my appt. I knew after what happened to me the night before there was no way in hell I would be able to drive. I was already told ahead of time that I would need someone to drive me but this cinched it! It was pretty funny to see me, I guess. You know how you think you are fine, but to everyone else, I guess you are not. LOL I was told that I "stumbled" into my doctors office. ;) Gotta love them drugs. I need to see if I can get a prescription for them bad boys!! Kidding... ok... maybe just a little. ha ha

Then they gave me yet another one right before they were going to start. I am telling you these things are good stuff and yet no side effects!! Because I am somewhat of the nervous type and aren't really thrilled with dentists I asked them to talk me through this. I know, strange. I asked him to basically tell me what he was going to do before he did so I wouldn't freak out. He agreed but reminded me I would pretty much be out of it. That was fine with me but I still wanted to know in case I was awake and aware. :)



Lower gums prior to surgery

Lower gums prior to surgery

The first thing I felt were the shots of course. Truthfully I think that was the worse of it. Ok...maybe that is all that I can remember. Ha ha There I am in the chair trying to relax, that is if that is even possible to do in a dentists chair. I am listening to my favorite type of music (country baby!!) and I have a good looking doctor on one side and an asst on the other side. The next thing I know is that I hear the doctor telling the other asst. to look at a part of my mouth so that she can see what this looks like. So of course that perks me right up and I am like "I want to see". Both of the assts. are like what? The doctor even asked me, what? I said I want to see. He said you are just going to see your gums but they will be raw, I have already removed the bad area. I said I know, they are my gums, I would like to see, please. He instructed them to get me a mirror and then I was able to see. It was amazing! I got to see both the upper and lower areas where he had removed the tissue already. I know it may sound strange but it was interesting. I had wanted to see the roof of my mouth where he had taken the tissue from but I guess I missed that opportunity, dang it!! Although this is after being sewn up and with the dressing this is the next best thing...
Lower gums right after surgery-you can see the dressing still


Upper right area that was done
You can see that I have the retainer on that I had to wear


Roof of my mouth where the tissue was taken from. He took the tissue from the roof of my mouth and it was put on the lower gums and the upper right area.


The retainer that I had to wear 24/7 until I was healed. This SAVED me. It was very thin, so it was comfortable but it did save me, no doubt about that!



I guess I was talking alot while I was under and while they were doing the surgery. I don't really remember much except for asking to see my gums. LOL They said I kept making jokes. I must have felt pretty good.


After I arrived home, I made sure I took some pain meds and decided to lay down. I was pleasantly surprised at how easily the surgery went and the recovery. I had been really nervous and worried about the recovery and the pain. I had some pain with the lower gum area but not too bad. The roof of my mouth, I really couldn't complain about, I mean I have had much worse pain than that before.

I basically had to have liquids, which meant smoothies, and milk shakes. I wasn't able to brush my teeth (gross!!), or spit or suck. I was only able to dip a cotton swab into mouthwash and gently wash the teeth. OMG!! Talk about feeling like my teeth were filthy. I don't know how people go without brushing their teeth. YUCK!! I was so excited when I was able to start brushing and flossing. Woo-hoo!! I tell you it is the little things in life that you appreciate. It was also a little over a week and I was able to start eating some soft foods, mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, boneless chicken breast. It didn't bother me much until almost a week after surgery and all of a sudden I was craving FOOD. You know something with a crunch! Something that wasn't just going to slide down! Amazing how you take things for granted.



My Mom ~ The best MOM in the WORLD

I know everyone says they have the best mom in the world, but I am telling you right now, I do! I am not going to argue with you or do any name calling or anything like that. You see I don't need to because I already know, she simply is the best mom in the world.

I am extremely lucky, blessed, fortunate to be close to my mom. I always have been. Even when I was going through that "tough time" in my teen years, we were still close. I know everyone says that their mom is the glue that held the family together and blah blah blah.

My mom held us together but she was able to hold us together even when she was so ill she was in the hospital for months at a time. I am pretty sure she doesn't realize this or that she even thought about that at the time, but she did just that. I know at the time that she was sick she was worried about me and my dad and how we were getting along but we were just fine. We missed having her at home but although she was the sick one, you wouldn't have known it. She was always smiling and with positive happy thoughts to share with us. She is still that way.

All my friends knew my mom and they all loved her. When I was young she always made sure my hair was fixed (perfect and if friends stayed over she did their hair too), the house was clean (spotless), we had home cooked meals and she always spent plenty of time with me. It was always very easy to talk to her. It seemed that my friends also felt the same way. Many of my friends would talk to her when they felt they couldn't talk to their moms. This still goes on today!

My mom has been through a lot in her life time and in my book she is still young (63 yrs, shh don't tell her I told you!!). She has been in and out of the hospital too many times to count with so many health issues it just isn't fair that she has had to endure all of that so early on in her lifetime, and yet she is still suffers with pain. She has lost both parents, 2 brothers and her husband already. She has also had to see her daughter deal with serious illnesses. And yet like I said, she still gets up everyday, puts a smile on her face and is as positive as can be.

I have always said that my mom is my best friend. So many people will tell you that you can't be a parent and a friend to your children. Well, let me tell you, I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had her for a friend when I was growing up. I know without a doubt that she is the one that kept me sane when I was about to go nutty, she was the one that lifted me out of the depths of depression when I was there and she was the one that always, and I do mean always laughed with me, cried with me and was even my partner in crime at times! Heck she still does all of those things! I know I am lucky, lucky beyond my wildest dreams.

I always say that I hope every little girl get to experience this...a closeness with their mom, and if not their mom, a womanly figure that they can feel this close to. I think everyone should be able experience this in their lifetime.

I know I am truly blessed. I love my mom more than words could ever say and she knows that because I do tell her I love her and often. Do you tell your mom you love her??

Customer Service...ugh

I have to admit I hate, and I do mean hate having to call anywhere for any thing that is going to need customer service. You know, like the phone company for help with the Internet or a credit card company to deal with a problem on the account. It just isn't like it used to be. I know this is going to sound awful but it's true. And you know what I am talking about. Here goes..

So I call and when a live person finally gets on the phone that is after a 10 min wait time of listening to music and recordings in several different languages that of which you don't know what half of them are, a live person finally comes on. You are elated, OK, I am. Only to find out, that this person can barely speak English. Not only can this person barely speak English they are reading from a script and can hardly comprehend what you are saying. Now it is one thing if they are having a difficult time speaking English but if they also cannot comprehend it, HOUSTON we have a problem!!! How in the world are they suppose to help me? No matter what the problem is. Seriously, the company really thinks these people are going to help me. Oh dear God!! This is a huge pet peeve of mine. It just irritates me to no end that this is how business is handled and how we have to deal with it. I could go on and on and on...but I won't at least not this time!

I know I can't be the only one that gets this frustrated when calling a business and getting transferred to somewhere half way across the world to be helped by a non speaking English person, right??? Good, I thought so. Phew, I was worried for a half a second. It takes you twice as long to get your message across or understood so that then they can at least start working on the problem or addressing the situation. Then once you start there are usually several misunderstandings throughout the conversation because of communication issues. There is really no need for this. And because I know that this is what I am going to have to endure when I call certain places, I literally HATE doing it. I will put it off until I can't anymore. I know that is not good, but the thought of having to deal with the other is almost unbearable. And the strange thing is I can pretty much understand almost any accent so it is not like I don't understand them, it is just that it is so frustrating and tiring for me to keep trying to get my point across to them. I have to work twice as hard.

OK...I just stepped off my soap box...thanks for listening!

10.01.2009

A simple phone call can make your day - you should try it.

It was Thursday night and the phone rang again...it had been one of those days when the phone rang constantly. It was one of those days that the handyman was there and although he was completing some jobs he was also driving you up a wall at the same time. You know those days, right? At the same time all you wanted to do was crawl back into bed because for whatever reason you are just so exhausted you can't keep your eyes open and hurt all over. Well, we know why I feel that way.

So like I said the phone rang and because I have caller ID, it tells me that it is a dear friend of mine, Corina. I have known Corina since the 3rd grade. She is one of two people that I have known that long. However, she is the only person that I have consistently kept in touch with. No, we don't call each other everyday or every week. We make sure we keep in touch, either email or phone. We try and see each other for our birthdays at least and hopefully more if at all possible.
So because of how my day went and now it was nighttime, I was even more exhausted, the last thing I wanted to do was get on the phone. But when I saw that it was her, I was pleasantly surprised. I answered the phone, and she greeted me with "Tammy! How are you? I've missed you!! We haven't seen each other in ages and I just wanted to tell you that I love you and you are my best friend!!"
That made my day...OK it made my week. Sometimes it just feels good to hear these things. Whether you know them or not... it just feels good. It brought tears (good ones) to my eyes and filled my heart with joy. I told her Thank you, and how good it was to hear that, but I don't think she really understood just how good that made me feel.
Amazing what a quick and simple phone call can do. It lifted my spirits, put a smile on my face and joy/love in my heart.
Have you made your phone call today?

Can men do anything without a woman's help?

I ask this question because I am hoping someone out there can tell me that there is a man out there somewhere that can in fact do something, anything by himself.

I used to think it was my Father that was like that. He would do jobs around the house and it seemed as if forever he would be calling for my mom to come and see or ask her if we had something that he needed for the job or something. It seemed that if she was home, she was always needed. However, if we weren't there, he seemed to manage OK...well for the most part anyway.

We had a young kid do some things around the house, and it was the same thing with him. Only a bit worse. He would go in one door and out the other door. That is a big NO NO in our house. LOL It was a bit nerve wrecking with him.

Most recently we have found a handyman. He came highly recommended and has been at our house a couple of times to do some jobs. I wonder. I mean this is his company, he is the owner, he has been doing this for 4 years and yet, he still is calling either me or my mom. Really?? I wonder if he is like that with us, is he like that with his other clients? How has he managed to stay in business for 4 years? Today he was over doing some work and I swear he was calling me constantly.

Is there something innate with men that just makes them do this; that just seems to make it necessary that they need or require our help as a woman? Does anyone out there know the answer to this life long question of mine?